today, eleven years ago

Page Fifty-two

Tuesday 2 Feb 2010, Turners Falls

Came to Turners today to wander through more memories. Memories of my own life, gone for nearly two years now.

So many of these anniversaries are sad ones, and what I came to town for today is no exception. Eleven years ago today, exactly (Tues 2 Feb 1999), I had my last chance to speak to my dying father. When he came to the phone and heard it was me, he said not one word. Put the phone down on the desk and wheeled himself away in his wheelchair. Then my brother came back to the phone and told me he’d thought my father wanted to talk to me, but he’d been wrong. He also told me that my uncle, my father’s much younger brother, had died two days before on Sunday 31 January. My father ended up dying on February 11, so these brothers died only 11 days apart, 11 years ago. All of this was devastating to me then, and on the anniversaries, it is still extremely painful. Both of them chose to die.

You might read that and think that that was a cruel thing for my father to do to me. That’s what I think. And certainly it wasn’t the only time my father had been mean to me, but it was the last.  And yet, in spite of it all, my father was in certain ways the better of my two parents.

other posts today:   Braon,  Sehnen

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all photos, graphics, poems and text copyright 2009-2011 by anne nakis, unless otherwise stated. all rights reserved.