Wednesday 30 December 2009

Page Forty-four 

Turners Falls

For my 14 stolen friends:  My second New Year’s without you, without my own life

I remember that it snowed and snowed on January 1, 2008, the last New Year’s we had together, and that the dogs and I walked joyfully and singing in that snow. At least, I was singing. I was singing our best snow song.


But what my animals don’t know, because they had all probably been euthanized by that time, is that 2008 ended the same way it began. On 31 Dec 08 it snowed and snowed, just it had on the first day of that year. My existence was one thing in the snow of the first day of 2008, and quite another thing in the snow of the last day. Snow can never be for me again what it was on the first of January, in 2008, when I snow-joyed in the new year with my dogs.

Here’s a piece of our best snow-song (Amid the Falling Snow, music by Enya, lyrics by R. Ryan):


           A million feathers falling down.
           A million stars that touch the ground.
           So many secrets to be found
           amid the falling snow.



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