anne, wandering

Page Thirty-eight

Saturday 7 Nov 2009, Greenfield

Yes, still wandering. A different kind. No longer wandering over towns and cities, living a nightmare, waiting for the feds that Matthew said were protecting me to point me to a home.

Wandering instead over the aftermath of the last 12 “hell years.” I’ve said very little about the years prior to the eviction in 2008, and the loss of everyone I love, but the traumas have flowed in a steady stream and the damage with each passing year has become more profound. What is left — the results of all the damage — is what appears on my on-line journals.

Shiloh-Chailin is with me one week today. I swear she’s nearly twice as big as she was last Saturday, when I got her. I’ve begged her not to grow so fast, to stay so little for a while, to stay in the palm of my hand. But all my begging doesn’t stop the growing.

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